Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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