dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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