I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I won the penis lottery.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I intend to get homeless drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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