Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
