He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize