He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
