i don't like sucking hair
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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