I accidentally had phone sex last night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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