Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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