I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
