guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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