I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
