If that was your dad, he is hot
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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