I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
