I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
