yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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