haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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