I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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