So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
