Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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