dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize