there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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