We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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