we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize