Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
