We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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