i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
