Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
