Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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