I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
