i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
