can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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