scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't deserve a penis
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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