yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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