so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
