That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
