So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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