Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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