I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
