Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sarcasm needs its own font
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i came on her dog
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
