If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
