Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
