one word: firstdatebathroomanal
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
