that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
