I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
