The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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