I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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