After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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