Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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