she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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