last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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