he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
