I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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