i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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