once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
