His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
