I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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