Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
