yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
