Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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