My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
