Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
