i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize